My Blog

April 11, 2007

Wednesday

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” — Henry Miller

“Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” — Miriam Beard

I realize that I’ve been “hiding” for almost 3 months now. I realized only now as well that even though some of my friends frown on my un-productivity (because I’m not earning a single cent yet) these past 2 & a half months have been a very productive time for me. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown not only as a person but as a writer.

I told myself when I graduated from college and was looking for my first job that I’m going to try things and that I only wanted to work in an air-conditioned office.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do then. All I knew then, was that I didn’t want to spend my days doing the same thing over and over again. And I didn’t want to be a has-been (or in the vernacular - ‘laos’) at least that’s what I remember about that conversation Jez and Ihad at the top of the hill in Bgy Wangal, La Trinidad, Benguet on a cold afternoon in March 2001, just a few weeks before our graduation. I distinctly remember how he responded, he said “di ka malalaos, Olive, kasi di ka sisikat!” That’s how Jez, the jester, put it.

I laughed out loud with him, thinking this was a profound moment. I had no intentions of becoming famous, so I wasn’t at all offended by his veiled insult. I thought to myself, that makes sense.If I don’t become famous, then who would say that I’m a has-been, right?

Now, 6 years later, I felt like I’m in that hilltop again. I’m laughing with Jez and the rest of the FeelingPlanners team. I’m laughing because now I’m finally planning how I want my future to look like; instead of planning for the future of those barangay folks by looking at how each of the possible land uses in that area can be optimized.

I’m finally planning and making my own projections for the kind of life I want to live, and writing down my own set of indicators so that I will know when I’ve reached the quality of life I am aiming for.These indicators doesn’t involve chair-to-pupil or bed-to-patient ratios. They don’t involve projections of how much land should be allocated for commercial or hospital purposes, for garbage, for classrooms and residential uses.

Now, 6 years and a dozen jobs later, I am very sure that I do want to write everyday and it doesn’t have to be in an air-conditioned office. It can be on top of a jeepney traversing some remote corner of this scenic country, inside a café in Paris, in a spooky cemetery in the outskirts of London, on a Caribbean cruise ship or even on a grassy hilltop in Austria.

The past 6 years have not gone to waste – I’ve traveled a lot, I’ve taken both outward and inward journeys. I’m just resting and preparing for my next journey. One that would take me far away from my hometown but will make me more at home in the world.