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Who is Isis?

A New Chapter

I haven’t opened my Friendster account for almost 3 months now…and my last blog entry was way too long ago.

I’ve got a new pre-occupation these days. I have a new space I can call my own. I’m testing the waters… Convincing myself that this is what I am really meant to do. But there are days when it’s a struggle to believe
and so I have chosen to use other names:

Godess of Fertility

Godess of Fertility

ISIS was a goddess in Ancient Egyptian religious beliefs, whose worship spread throughout the Greco-Roman world. She was worshiped as the ideal mother, wife, matron of nature and magic. She was the friend of slaves, sinners, artisans, the downtrodden, as well as listening to the prayers of the wealthy, maidens, aristocrats and rulers. Isis is the Goddess of motherhood and fertility. Isis is also known as the goddess of simplicity, from whom all beginnings arose, and was the Lady of bread, of beer, and of green fields.

My journey has just begun. I’ve got to nurture this new land…this new universe that I’m claiming as my turf.

I hope you can visit my newest project and do send me some feedback. It’s new and yet I feel like I’ve spent the last 6 months just dreaming about it before it finally emerged from nothingness…

pinaybackpacker.com

April 11, 2007

Wednesday

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” — Henry Miller

“Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” — Miriam Beard

I realize that I’ve been “hiding” for almost 3 months now. I realized only now as well that even though some of my friends frown on my un-productivity (because I’m not earning a single cent yet) these past 2 & a half months have been a very productive time for me. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown not only as a person but as a writer.

I told myself when I graduated from college and was looking for my first job that I’m going to try things and that I only wanted to work in an air-conditioned office.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do then. All I knew then, was that I didn’t want to spend my days doing the same thing over and over again. And I didn’t want to be a has-been (or in the vernacular - ‘laos’) at least that’s what I remember about that conversation Jez and Ihad at the top of the hill in Bgy Wangal, La Trinidad, Benguet on a cold afternoon in March 2001, just a few weeks before our graduation. I distinctly remember how he responded, he said “di ka malalaos, Olive, kasi di ka sisikat!” That’s how Jez, the jester, put it.

I laughed out loud with him, thinking this was a profound moment. I had no intentions of becoming famous, so I wasn’t at all offended by his veiled insult. I thought to myself, that makes sense.If I don’t become famous, then who would say that I’m a has-been, right?

Now, 6 years later, I felt like I’m in that hilltop again. I’m laughing with Jez and the rest of the FeelingPlanners team. I’m laughing because now I’m finally planning how I want my future to look like; instead of planning for the future of those barangay folks by looking at how each of the possible land uses in that area can be optimized.

I’m finally planning and making my own projections for the kind of life I want to live, and writing down my own set of indicators so that I will know when I’ve reached the quality of life I am aiming for.These indicators doesn’t involve chair-to-pupil or bed-to-patient ratios. They don’t involve projections of how much land should be allocated for commercial or hospital purposes, for garbage, for classrooms and residential uses.

Now, 6 years and a dozen jobs later, I am very sure that I do want to write everyday and it doesn’t have to be in an air-conditioned office. It can be on top of a jeepney traversing some remote corner of this scenic country, inside a café in Paris, in a spooky cemetery in the outskirts of London, on a Caribbean cruise ship or even on a grassy hilltop in Austria.

The past 6 years have not gone to waste – I’ve traveled a lot, I’ve taken both outward and inward journeys. I’m just resting and preparing for my next journey. One that would take me far away from my hometown but will make me more at home in the world.

I feel totally out of whack these days… I know that something NEEDS to change

and something IS about to change.. whichever comes first…and i just can’t

decide how I should feel about it. Here we go again, as if I hadn’t gone through

this already year after year.

Hence, I’ll borrow Romel’s blog posted on our bulletin board because it

says exactly what’s on my mind…

sometimes, some of us wish the world weren’t moving at all, not because we’re broken or sad. it’s just that the world has been moving faster each day that we’ve been having lesser time to cherish the depth of who we are or who we could be.

so we subconsciously rebel against the negative sides of time-space compression and capitalism, the dehumanizing pressures of the material world, and the influx of too much of the micro and the macro. “

- Romel Deraz Trebz, Nov 3 2008

Koiné Bar Acts series, an off-shoot of the award-winning Koiné One Acts, the only professional intimate theater in the country since 2001, WINNER of National Shopper’s Choice Awards for No.1 Entertainment Center in QC.

KOINé BAR ACTS SHOW SCHEDULE

Niel de Mesa’s SUBTEXT (7:30pm / October 22,2008 at TEN 02 Bar, Timog Ave. cor. Sct. Ybardolaza, November 11, 2008 at Conspiracy Bar, Visayas Ave.) The longest running, best-selling local play in the Philippine theater scene today: Palanca award-winning romantic comedy on text messaging, relationships and miscommunication between couples. Running since 2002. Bar Acts Version directed by Tiffany Santuyo, starring Soliman Cruz, Roence Santos, Burn Melendres, Dingdong Novenario and Lara Tarranco.

2 PLAYS ON BITTER LOVE: Niel de Mesa’s HULING ENSAYO PARA SA ‘YO and OVER&OVER (7:30pm / October 28, 2008 at Conspiracy Bar, Visayas Ave.) “Para sa mga taong pinagmukhang tanga ng pag-ibig.” Critically acclaimed plays on coping with your significant-other’s parents who makes you feel unworthy, and on: dealing with ex-es who might not be over you but too prideful to fess up. Two great acting pieces (for the price of one ticket), one of which will require audience participation and debate. Bar Acts version directed by Roence Santos, starring Amihan Ruiz and Bombi Plata.

*For tickets and inquiries call 433.7886 or (0917)972.6514, email ktfi2001@yahoo.com. You may peruse the scripts at www.playsofnieldemesa.blogspot.com

For my bday I want to get or have the following:

1. a new cellphone

2. Carmelle Penetrante’s debut book : “The Ex commandments & other Break Up Stories” (uy, plugging!)

3. a trip outside Luzon – beach dapat siyempre

4. a surprise party (hahaha)

5. an opportunity to study and/OR work abroad

6. a whole Death by Chocolate Cake all to myself (whatever yaya!)

7. a coffee session with my life coach – Coach Mel (long overdue I know..)

For Christmas naman here’s some of the things I’d love to get: (both for myself and as gifts TO my friends as well..)

1. Wild Mind by Natalie Goldberg (or any of her books are welcome. I already have “Writing Down the Bones” – a gift from my bestfriend Via last Dec 2005)

2. Any of these 3 books: New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn (I loved Twilight obvious ba?) by Stephenie Meyer

3.  The Open Road: The Golden Journey of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama by Pico Iyer

4. Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence)

5.  James & the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl  (I have ”BFG” thanks to Gereon :D )

6. Tatang Ricky Lee’s 1st novel (coming out this November!)

7.  A youtube moment with the infamous duo moymoy palaboy (hahaha!)

8.  Get to spend time with my ex bedmate Gene and Direk Raz

9.   Europe with Nanet (ambisyosa!)

10. A published article in Conde Nast Traveler

    from john bert:

    Here’s to the crazy ones:

    “The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They INSPIRE. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

    I LOVE THIS LIFE. THANK YOU to all those who continue to make it interesting year after year. I’m going to be 31 soon!

    Can you believe it?  It’s fabulous!!!

    No.. lemme correct that.. it’s FANTABULOUS!

    crazy…

    Don’t wonder why people go crazy; wonder why they don’t. In the face of all we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together.

    I’m hoping and praying for you sister.  I know it will take some time to sort things out.  But I have faith in you. You are smart, beautiful and STRONG. And though you might feel weak, or stupid or crazy now, it  will change. It will pass… that crazy and weak and stupid feeling. We’ve all been through that.

     

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    I read "Pedagogy of the Oppressed"  in college because  my adviser, Ms. Thelma Sto. Domingo, assigned me to report it in class.  Of course, at that time, I wasn’t teaching yet so I am very sure I wasn’t able to give justice to  Paulo Freire’s ideas.  Now, that I am already teaching, I am also trying to catch up on my reading list. Thank you, Gene, for this review. I hope I can find a copy soon.

    _____
    Teachersasculturalworkers

    So far, I’ve only read the first and second letters in Paulo Freire’s
    ‘Teacher as a Cultural Worker: Letters to Those Who Dare Teach’ (2005,
    expanded edition) and I am already amazed by the wealth of insights
    that can be derived from the book.

    I read Freire’s ‘Pedagogy of
    the Oppressed’ (1984 translation) back home, and what compelled me to
    read this classic text was the constant mentioning of his work in my
    interactions with colleagues and friends in NetWorks and Ugnayan ng
    Pahinungod, especially those deeply involved in literacy work in the
    country’s rural areas and indigenous communities. My desire to
    understand the value of the work was also partly influenced by one of
    my references in rhetoric which outlines the concepts, definitions and
    major theorists in the field from antiquity to the latter part of the
    20th century. Freire’s name was one of the entries. Apparently, his
    discussions on the relationship of language, thought, and reality as
    well as his thesis on the dialectics of reading the word and reading
    the world (which appears as one of the chapters in the book that I’m
    currently reading) have earned him a significant place in rhetorical
    studies in the last century (So much for appropriation and ‘pillaging’
    of theorists from allied disciplines – a tendency that rhetorical
    studies have been unapologetically pursuing.).

    So my interest
    was not so much on how the book (‘Pedagogy’) would influence my
    philosophy and method of teaching in the university but how I could
    meander through the discourses of my colleagues who kept on citing
    ‘praxis’, ‘action-reflection-action’, ‘conscienticization’, ‘banking
    method’ versus the liberatory ‘pedagogy of the oppressed’, etc. during
    our interactions. I was also interested in using his ideas and ‘tools’
    for the content of the course SPCM 105 (Philippine Public Address).
    While I had been fortunate enough to have read his work before I began
    to teach the course, I regret to say that I failed to incorporate his
    work in my syllabus. I was just too overwhelmed to revisit my notes on
    analytical frameworks and critical approaches that have mostly emanated
    from Greco-Roman and European-American traditions.

    My interest
    in reading Freire now is not so much anchored on the need to work my
    way through the language game of my friends and colleagues or to cover
    up my insecurity in teaching rhetoric and public address. While I
    grapple with several ideas, concepts, theories that I need to apprehend
    well for my comprehensive exams in the middle of this year, I wouldn’t
    deny that I have been blessed with a little luxury of time to read what
    I like to read. After all, I am currently not tied to teaching, marking
    papers, reading both well- and haphazardly written student essays, not
    to mention regular staff meetings and phenomenal departmental
    ‘intramurals’ – activities which had taken most of my time for eight
    years before coming to Singapore to study.

    On Friday afternoon,
    the last day of classes in the university, I headed towards Vivo City,
    the largest mall in town which houses a favorite bookstore called ‘Page
    One’. There I was drawn to checking out titles in the humanities and
    possible additions to my mini-library. I purchased two books, one of
    which is Freire’s lesser known work. The other book is Michel
    Foucault’s ‘Archaeology of Knowledge and Discourses of Language’
    (thesis related but something I have to grapple with much later. This
    is only my second Foucault book, the first one being ‘Madness and
    Civilization’, the author’s dissertation. Quite embarrassingly, I’ve
    only read a few pages of that ‘critically acclaimed’ work. It is
    probably now accumulating dust in my bookshelf in Bay, Laguna. I
    sincerely hope to save it from my superficial display of erudition (a
    thing I am most guilty of) when I get back home this year.)

    Now
    back to Freire’s ‘Teachers’. What is it about Freire’s ‘Teachers’ that
    is so compelling? In his first two letters (preceded by a foreword by
    Donaldo Macedo and Ana Maria Araujo Freire, a preface titled ‘Pedagogy
    for Life’ by Peter McLaren, an introduction by Joe Kincheloe, and
    Freire’s ‘First Words’), he talks about reading the word/reading the
    world (the dialectical relationship of theory and practice, of
    experiencing and critical analysis of experience, of texts and
    contexts) and grappling with ‘the fear of what is difficult.’

    Several
    points are inspiring from where I stand. One is the need to discipline
    oneself to reflect on his readings quite regularly. Freire suggests
    that one who professes to teach reading/writing the word/world should
    be able to write quite regularly and to critically examine what he has
    written, that is, to scribble down his reflections ‘at least thrice a
    week’ and to examine them after some time.

    Another interesting
    point has to do with performing one’s capacity for radical love. Here
    are lines from the book whose significance is underscored in the
    preface by Peter MacLaren (in Freire 2005:xxx-xxxi):

    ‘We must
    dare in the full sense of the word, to speak of love without the fear
    of being called ridiculous, mawkish, or unscientific, if not
    antiscientific. We must dare in order to say scientifically, and not as
    mere blah-blah-blah, that we study, we learn, we teach, we know with
    our entire body. We do all of these things with feeling, with emotion,
    with wishes, with fear, with doubts, with passion, and also with
    critical reasoning. However, we never study, learn, teach, or know with
    the last only. We must dare so as never to dichotomize cognition and
    emotion. We must dare so that we can continue to teach for a long time
    under conditions that we know well: low salaries, lack of respect, and
    the ever-present risk of becoming prey to cynicism. We must dare to
    learn how to dare in order to say no to the bureaucratization of the
    mind to which we are exposed everyday. We must dare so that we can
    continue to do so even when it is so much more materially advantageous
    to stop daring’ (Freire 2005:5-6, emphasis added).

    The
    ‘radical love’ thesis is further explained in the fourth letter (which
    I have not read as of this writing) but which MacLaren liberally quotes
    in the preface (xxx-xxxi)

    ‘[To] to the humility which teachers
    perform and relate to their students another quality needs to be added:
    lovingness, without which their work would lose its meaning. And here I
    mean lovingness not only toward the students but also toward the very
    process of teaching. I must confess, not meaning to cavil, that I do
    not believe educators can survive the negativities of their trade
    without some sort of ‘armed love,’ as the poet Tiaglo de Melo would
    say. Without it they could not survive all the injustice or the
    government contempt, which is expressed in the shameful wages and the
    arbitrary treatment of teachers, not coddling mothers, who take a
    stand, who participate in protest activities through their union, who
    are punished, and who yet remain devoted to their work with students.
    It is indeed necessary, however, that this love be ‘armed love,’ the
    fighting love of those convinced of the right and the duty to fight, to
    denounce, and to announce. It is this form of love that is
    indispensable to the progressive educator and that we must all learn’
    (Freire 2005:74-75).

    Having read only a few pages of Freire’s
    work, I can already glean that there is so much passion, so much soul
    in his writing about teaching. There is, however, a caveat to merely
    adopting this ‘armed love’ thesis without much reflection. I think this
    is the point most often abused by people who profess to ‘fight for what
    is right’ when in fact they only fight for their personal interests. I
    have been witness to this abuse and arrogant display of dissent in the
    name of ‘academic freedom’ and ‘collegiality.’ I choose not to spell
    out the details. Because of this tendency, there is so much reason to
    heed Freire’s call for social praxis in teaching – to engage in the
    dialectics of action and reflection so as to avoid both intellectual
    elitism and uniformed/uncritical ‘reading of the world.’ That
    engagement, at the very least, requires the humility to accept that our
    assumptions about ourselves and about the world are tentative, to
    listen to what others (usually from the opposite end of where we stand)
    have to say, and to constantly engage in the negotiation of meanings.


    I loved JAY
    .

    Ang galing galing ni Baron Geisler
    as a gay TV producer
    at super cutie ni Coco Martin!!!

    Kudos to Sir Francis Xavier Pasion and
    to all the staff and crew

    especially sa aking friendship who did
    the Production Design for this
    very timely and original film

    Joy "Purple Cow" Puntawe.

    Sana mapanuod ko ang Boses, Namets at 100…
    and Endo na namiss ko last year…

    Haay so many films to see..so little time and money hehehe:D

    July 28 Mon
    Manuel Conde Retro: Genghis Khan 2:30 p.m.
    Baby Angelo 5 p.m.
    Concerto 7:30 p.m.

    July 29 Tue
    Cinemalaya’s Past Best Pictures Showcase: Pepot Artista 2:30 p.m.
    Jay 5 p.m.
    Huling Pasada 7:30 p.m.

    July 30 Wed
    Cinemalaya’s Past Best Pictures Showcase: Tulad ng Dati 2:30 p.m.
    Brutus 5 p.m.
    Namets 7:30 p.m.

    July 31 Thu
    Cinemalaya’s Past Best Pictures Showcase:
    Tribu 2:30 p.m.
    100 5 p.m.
    My Fake American Accent 7:30 p.m.

    Aug 1 Fri
    Ishmael Bernal Gallery Night with Film Premiere
    of Adolf Alix’s Imoral 7:30 p.m.

    Aug 2 Sat
    Endo 2/5/7 p.m.

    Aug 4 Mon
    Anita Linda Tribute: Tambolista 2:30 p.m.
    Boses 5 p.m.
    Ranchero 7:30 p.m.

    Aug 5 Tue
    Manuel Conde Retro: Krus na Kawayan 2:30 p.m.
    Cinemalaya 2008 Competing Shorts A 5 p.m.
    Cinemalaya 2008 Competing Shorts B 7:30 p.m.

    Aug 6 Wed
    Anita Linda Tribute: Sisa 2:30 p.m.
    Cinemalaya 2008 Special Jury Prize Winner 5 p.m.
    Cinemalaya 2008 Best Picture 7:30 p.m.

    Aug 7 Thu
    Donsol 2:30 p.m.
    Kadin 5 p.m.
    Anita Linda Tribute: Sisa 7:30 p.m.

     

    Abraham Lincoln’s Letter

    to
    His Son’s Teacher

    He will have to learn, I know,
    that all men are not just,
    all men are not true.
    But teach him also that
    for every scoundrel there is a hero;
    that for every selfish politician,
    there is a dedicated leader…
    Teach him for every enemy there is a friend,

    Steer him away from envy,
    if you can,
    teach him the secret of
    quiet laughter.

    Let him learn early that
    the bullies are the easiest to lick…
    Teach him, if you can,
    the wonder of books…
    But also give him quiet time
    to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
    bees in the sun,
    and the flowers on a green hillside.

    In the school teach him
    it is far honourable to fail
    than to cheat…
    Teach him to have faith
    in his own ideas,
    even if everyone tells him
    they are wrong…
    Teach him to be gentle
    with gentle people,
    and tough with the tough.

    Try to give my son
    the strength not to follow the crowd
    when everyone is getting on the band wagon…
    Teach him to listen to all men…
    but teach him also to filter
    all he hears on a screen of truth,
    and take only the good
    that comes through.

    Teach him if you can,
    how to laugh when he is sad…
    Teach him there is no shame in tears,
    Teach him to scoff at cynics
    and to beware of too much sweetness…
    Teach him to sell his brawn
    and brain to the highest bidders
    but never to put a price-tag
    on his heart and soul.

    Teach him to close his ears
    to a howling mob
    and to stand and fight
    if he thinks he’s right.
    Treat him gently,
    but do not cuddle him,
    because only the test
    of fire makes fine steel.

    Let him have the courage
    to be impatient…
    let him have the patience to be brave.
    Teach him always
    to have sublime faith in himself,
    because then he will have
    sublime faith in mankind.

    This is a big order,
    but see what you can do…
    He is such a fine fellow,
    my son!

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